In a culture that rewards productivity, positivity, and quick solutions, it can feel almost rebellious to simply sit with your emotions without trying to “fix” them. But the truth is, emotions aren’t problems to be solved. They are experiences to be witnessed. When we stop rushing to escape uncomfortable feelings, we give ourselves a chance to learn, heal, and connect more deeply to who we are.
Here’s a simple three-step practice to help you notice, breathe through, and make space for your emotions without judgment or the pressure to change them.
Step 1: Notice the Sensation (Emotion)
Before you can sit with your emotions, you have to notice them. This is often trickier than it sounds. Many of us have learned to bypass feelings by staying busy, overthinking, or distracting ourselves.
When an emotion arises, whether it’s sadness, anxiety, frustration, or even joy, pause and turn your attention inward. Where do you feel it in your body? Is there tightness in your chest? A knot in your stomach? A fluttering in your throat?
Try describing the sensation in neutral terms such as warm, heavy, buzzing, tight, or soft. This simple act of naming the physical experience shifts you from reacting automatically to observing mindfully. You are no longer swept away. You are curious.
Step 2: Breathe
Once you have noticed the emotion, bring in the anchor of your breath. Breathing helps you stay grounded in your body instead of getting lost in the swirl of thoughts about what the emotion means.
One powerful method is square breathing:
- Inhale through your nose for 4 counts.
- Hold your breath for 4 counts.
- Exhale gently through your mouth for 4 counts.
- Hold again for 4 counts.
Repeat this pattern 3 to 4 times. Imagine tracing the sides of a square with each inhale, hold, exhale, and hold. This slows your nervous system’s stress response and signals safety to your body.
Step 3: Allow Space for the Emotion
Now comes the hardest part, allowing the emotion to simply be there. You are not trying to fix it, push it away, or judge yourself for having it. Instead, you are practicing emotional hospitality.
Label the emotion gently: This is sadness. This is anger. This is joy. The label is not meant to shrink the emotion down. It is meant to acknowledge it.
If your mind tries to solve the feeling with thoughts like “How can I stop this?” or “I shouldn’t be feeling this,” return to your breath. Remind yourself, I can feel this and still be okay.
Think of it as making room in your inner home. The emotion is a guest. It may not stay forever, but while it is here, you can offer it a seat rather than slamming the door.
Why This Matters
Emotions are messengers. When you notice them, breathe with them, and allow them space, you are sending yourself a powerful signal: I trust myself to handle what I feel. You are no longer fighting your inner world. You are befriending it. And that is the kind of safety and self-compassion that builds resilience over time.
